Three in One; The Triune Post

Hello Dear,

In line with the wisdom @Nwanyi_Abagana shared here, I am using the rest of 2016 as a "test run" for my intentions and commitment to post at least, once a week as the Holy Spirit gives inspiration. When better to start than today, the first day of the last month in this blessed year of our Lord, 2016.

Whoop! Whoop!! God did it. We made it. All the way from 01/01/16 here we are on 01/12/16. Congrats dear. Welcome to 12/16 and happy new month.

Let me confess, this post might not logically move from point A to B. Originally it was meant as an instagram caption, but somehow it got so long it morphed into a post and because of an event coming up on Saturday, I decided to kuku use one stone and kill all the birds at once. So, it also became an advert. Please pardon me when it seems to ramble. I sincerely pray that in all, a picture from God’s own perspective emerges from this darkroom in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Thank you for being so understanding. 😉😉

Alrighto! Let’s dive in, shall we?

This post was inspired by the WCW hashtag. Within the past one month, two of my younger ones featured me as their #WCW here and here. I was so chuffed and feeling super cool like, “Success you must have been doing something right for the past 20-something years your sisters have known you”.
I am grateful for the grace of God to be among the few “prophets” to have “honour” in their hometown. Glad those closest to me testify my own “charity begins at home”. But more importantly, I see it as a wake up call for me. This little light of mine must reach beyond my “Jerusalem” to the ends of the world ‘cos truth be told, I am the only gospel a lot of people will read before coming to Christ. Same applies to you dear brother/sister. Wherever, whenever, someone is always watching.

As an offshoot of the whole thing, I began to wonder. Who is/are my own #WC? Which female(s) has (ve) the greatest influence in my life? The answer wasn’t far fetched. My mum. She is my first ever #WCE.
I have a list of others and each day, God adds unto me.

"Mummy m" looking pretty in pink and gold tipped ombre hair😚😙😍😘😍

I digress. Back to the main story

I was a very observant child, so I noticed a lot of things, more than anybody could imagine. I have seen my mum go through challenges that sound like a good script from all the movie woods (Holly, Nolly, Bolly, Golly and what have you) put together and yet, she stands. I have seen people turn against her and pay her evil for good. I have seen her misunderstood by us her children and even her husband.
I grew up knowing my mother as nocturnal. I think the first time I saw my mum doze off was when she was pregnant for the baby of the house in 1999. Before then, I didn’t even know mothers sleep. She was always awake before I slept, would be awake in the middle of the night, either to punish a wrong doing or in our room praying over each of us, all seven of us, calling us by name and pronouncing blessings upon us, and still wake up before any of us did to get lunch and breakfast ready (in that order cause we always took lunch to school).
I have seen “mummy m” as I call her grow and change when we her children expressed our feelings about things we didn’t like about her. Top on the list then was beating us. My mum of those days was a champion disciplinarian; at times the beating was overkill for what we thought was a minor offence (the sting of the whip on your exposed thighs right in the middle of the night, indescribably painful). So my siblings and I, especially my elder sister started talking about it with her. Little did we know she was fighting her own battles regarding that as a result of her own background.

Gradually, slowly but surely, we saw changes. We thought our words were finally sinking in and working. Until one of those days when we all were cooking and gisting in the kitchen, my mother opened up that she actually took the matter to God in prayers to change her.  “Huh???” I was floored. From her I learned a very crucial lesson that day, one I have taken with me till date. Nothing is too big or too small to pray about. And when we pray, God answers.


What is the moral of all this long gist and memory trip you might ask?

It is because I am passionate about women empowerment. Let me explain. My mum's secret was her prayer life. Call it #PrayerPower. I mean women empowerment, not in the very contemporary mainstream usage of the word, but on a deeper level. I am all for women being empowered to do and become all they were meant to be in the physical realm. However, beyond that, I want to see women who are indeed spiritually strong. Rarely would you see a person of prayer weak in other fronts in life. Whosoever who can kneel before God can stand before any human or circumstance.

I refer to empowered women who having done all, stand. Christian women who are filled with the Word of God and with Jesus to the point of over-flow. Women who like Mary the sister of Martha will focus on following just one person-The Lord Jesus Christ; who like the woman with the issue of blood with desperation tap on his timeline (sorry hem of His garment); and like the woman at the well of Samaria retweet and reblog and repost Christ and His essence. Women who like Hannah will mime wordlessly to the rhythm of heaven so much as to be mistaken as drunks. Sisters who on their knees before Jesus command influence, yet can rock them six-inch heels (or flat ballerinas and all the heights in between whichever suits best) should the need arise. Women who in the mould of  Deborah and Esther and Rebecca and Hannah and Mary would step up to the plate in interceding and doing the needful for the good of their children, their families, their nations and the greater good of the world at large. Women who understand that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but are mighty through God (2 Cor 10:4), so do not mind ruining their facial foundations to erect a sure foundation for their future. Women who do not mind seeing their mascara run as they cry out in the place of prayer to get their kids running after God and the advancement of His kingdom on earth. Women of the God-kind whose effective and fervent prayers would always avail much.(James 5:16)

Wondering where/how to start, I proudly invite you to The Women At The Well Nigeria @TwtwNigeria's last meet for the year coming up just two days from now -Are we excited or what💃💃💃💃- That is 3rd December, 2016) by 1:00 pm at The Oasis, 3 Keystone Bank Crescent, off Adeyemo Alakija Street, Victoria Island Lagos.

Come join the army of empowered women God is raising at this time. Come set the pace for the rest of 2016 and secure your place in 2017 and beyond.

I round off with my own adaptation of a very popular quote:

"Praying women
May we know them
May we raise them
May we be them"

We look forward to seeing you.

#WomenEmpowerment #WomenEmpowerment #WomenEmpowerment #PrayerPower #EmpoweredWomen #PrayingWomen #WomenOfPrayer #WhenWomenPray #JesusFollowers #FollowingHard #FoundationsForFoundation #PrayingWoman #PrayingMum
#LovingMyMum #WCOnAThursday #WCT #WCE #WCF
#HashTagWhenILike #BecauseICan


If you don't now Christ for yourself yet, here is an invitation. Come meet the God who loves you more than you can imagine. Just say these words of prayer with all of your heart.

"Dear Jesus, I come before you today, acknowledging my sin.
And acknowledging you died for me.
Right now, I ask you,
Forgive me all my sins, wash me with your Blood
Save me, Come into my heart
Be my Lord, and my personal saviour.
Thank you Jesus Christ, for saving me.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Welcome to this awesome relationship. Welcome to the family of God. HugsAndMoreHugs.

God bless you.

Photo Credit:
Love This Pics via Tumblr 
Chisom Anoke via Whatsapp
Geeks Under Grace via Imgur
Words of Encouragement via Google 

A Tale of a Truck Ride

Hello Wonderful people. I dare say Happy New year. Year 2016 i mean. Yea, I know, I know, the year is almost running out and I am only just saying "hello" from this platform. #NoExcuses.

Seems just like yesterday I wrote about the cross over night and ushering in the new year and here we are, seven days already into the eleventh month of the year. God's been faithful. I hope 2016 has been all we anticipated and prayed and planned. If there are pending deliverables yet to be actualized, fret not. The remaining 54 days are more than enough for a dramatic change.

On my part, my resolutions are coming early. By God's grace and with His help, posts here are going to be steady and frequent from 2017. #WePromise #TheHolySpiritAndI. 😀😀

Now, unto what made me dust up and start writing again- on this platform. For the first time in my life on Saturday, I got into the back of a hilux van (FYI: all by my humble self) #LiftingShouldersSmall. Not only did I board, I had the pleasure of a ride.

Ok. Complete story.

Lagos International Trade Fair, an annual event organised by the Lagos State Chamber of Commerce and Industry is currently on-going and I had cause to be there on said Saturday, for work.

 I had earlier taken the journey between the fair grounds and my base office four times (to and fro twice each). I definitely  was not  looking forward to another one, especially considering the fact that I would still need to go back to the BRT terminus at the same TBS to board a bus home. Did I mention the hot sun? Pheeew!!!

You can imagine my relief when I learnt there was an option of a car ride back, I grabbed the offer with both hands. See me nursing the thoughts of an airconditioned comfy ride back to the office until I stepped out to realise there was no more space in the van.  I didn't think much of it, so long as I would be off my feet, so I agreed to sit in the bed of the truck. Good enough I was wearing a pair of jeans. No time to check time abeg, I just climb. Trying to be like one of the boys I initially sat at the edge until one of them advised me to sit inside the bed and hang on. As soon  as the driver turned on the ignition, someone “threatened” she would take a picture and post it on Facebook. That gave me an idea, so I told one of my co-passengers to take as many pictures as possible as we were moving. I was feeling cool. Smiling and making faces and generally having a nice time.

However, just before we drove off, some one casually asked, “why are you sitting with the guys inside pick up, abi you don’t know it’s dangerous?”.  The answer was simple. I was tired. As someone famous best put it, “My feet is tired”. The two at that point were a uniform mass of tired and aching tendons and ligaments from the ankles down.

In seconds, I was  assaulted with doubts. At that instant, I imagined falling off. I imagined the embarrassment if I ever slid off my perch to sprawl all over the floor of the pick-up bed. I imagined passers-by laughing at me. I imagined the loss of my “image” as a “lady” to be replaced with “that girl that was forming paparazzi and fell off a moving van”.  I became scared and terribly self conscious.

 At some point I shut my eyes. My camera guy didn’t get that. May be he too was having doubts.
I felt everybody was looking at me. I turned my face away from the camera.

Close to TBS gate, a young lady I had interacted with earlier in the day and assisted saw me and waved a smiling greeting. In-grained courtesy demanded I smile and wave back, so I did.
After that, I was like, God I won’t allow any yeye fear or self consciousness rob me of enjoying this cool evening breeze. Then I faced my mind sqaurely, “ehen, you are riding in a truck and so what? How does that affect the price of garri? Anybody looking at me and thinking whatever, ‘for im back pocket’”. Mentally, I did a “gbagbe osi”, and threw my legs out, balanced well well and enjoyed the ride.

Sometimes we start off well like Peter in his walk on water. We are totally trusting, eager, raring even for an adventure in life or ministry or career or even just a new hobby. We can't wait to take new territories and do new things for God and with God and because of God. We throw ourselves into it and we are using all criticisms as stepping stones. Then a comment, a thought, a flash, most times from a well meaning loved one/or ourselves, comes at us, seemingly out of the blues. And plants the dreadful seed of fear, doubt, or worse still of pride. We lose focus of the goals, and we start looking at our surroundings. We stop looking at our Caller and stare hopelessly instead at the path He is taking us through. You know, like ignoring the caller, not picking a call so we can complain about the ringtone. Rather than fixing our gaze on Christ, the author and finisher of our faith and the expected end He has in stock for us, (Heb 12:12, Jer 29:11) we start analysing trends and comparing history. Then we stop walking on water and we start sinking, to the confirmation of the nay-sayers and their "I told you sos".

May be just like me, you have hopped on, literally jumped at God's purpose for your life. You had done it all by yourself severally and you were tired. You heard the good news and you came for rest in Christ. You whole-heartedly embraced His love for you, keying into His promises as it were, only to realise, there is no space in the car for you. It seems you have to tough a rough ride in the bed of the truck. Keep your joy my sister, stay excited my brother, you know why, God is still behind the steering. This is but a phase in your unique journey, the destination is a far greater weight of glory (2 Cor. 4:17). Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life. Bring every thought under subjection to the obedience of Christ. (Prov 4:23, 2 Cor 10:5). It’s an old trick of the enemy, making us question God and to doubt His ever sure, infallible Word. Satan would always try to blind our eyes to the fact that your once tired feet are now resting, while magnifying before us those in the air conditioned interior of the car enjoying a “smooth ride”.

Dearie, when next the devil comes to prey on your mind (trust me, he will come around) with thoughts of mockery,  fix your eyes on Jesus Christ, rebuke the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7). As for the human elements he is using, smile, pump your fists at them, and with a mental gbagbe osi declare "God's  got me, my Dad’s got this”.

If you don"t know Christ for yourself yet, here is an invitation. Come meet the God who loves you more than you can imagine. Just say these words of prayer with all of your heart.

"Dear Jesus, I come before you today, acknowledging my sin.
And acknowledging you died for me.
Right now, I ask you,
Forgive me all my sins, wash me with your Blood
Save me, Come into my heart
Be my Lord, and my personal saviour.
Thank you Jesus Christ, for saving me.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Welcome to this awesome relationship. Welcome to the family of God. HugsAndMoreHugs.

God bless you.

Photo Credit:@bumbleandbristle via pinbrowse and @DPreachersKid

This New Year sef

Hmmm… where do I start? It’s been ages on this page. And believe me, a a lot of water and tears have passed under the bridge.

I had a lot of losses the year before (2014) and in the early part of 2015 which was like a strike on the face of the commitment from God-no losses whatsoever.

God in his usual too-faithful-to-fail way ENSURED I experienced loads of deliverances and that I didn’t lose a pin in 2015. My guardian angels must have worked over time, probably sprouting a strand or two of grey hair at some of the tight corners I got myself into this year. From one-chance motors, to fire-outbreaks that made national headlines, to accidents, to as recently as day before yesterday, deliverance from the “funmi phone” guys that operate in traffic, 

God has been so, so awesome.

It has also been a year of firsts for me. A lot of things I hitherto imagined, I have experienced first-hand in this year. Not all has been worthy of my calling, but then, that is a story for another day. Mercy kept me, so I give thanks.

Now I am going to be very honest. This year isn’t ending the way I envisioned, and prayed and planned it was gonna end.  I still have a number of unrealised dreams.

For instance, in my dreams, I am on vacation at this time of the year, with my special someone beside me while we get ready for the fire-works spiritual, physical and the other physical one, to usher in the new year.

Reality check, I left my work station, barely 20 minutes ago because, I just could not leave earlier. It’s kind of a big deal to me. I can’t get to church for the cross-over service. Cross-over might just be me and my lappy at home streaming. #sadface

Now, to the real koko of the matter.

The New Year.

It’s just like 3 hours, 45 minutes to go (as at when I was typing this)

The thing about the New Year is that it goes beyond the digits that make up its nomenclature. It could be 1906 or 2016, once it is a new year, there is this whole… this whole...c'mon you know what I mean. The word New Year even auto corrects to start with capital letters, like a regular proper noun - a fact I just realised as I typed it. 

Thanks to the Christmas season, which is barely a week ago, we often end the year and anticipate the new one with new things (at least a lot of us do)- new toys, new clothes (not always the right size, colour or fit), new pounds (and I mean the type on your body, not the sterling currency, lol), a new Calender on the wall, new bills to pay (oh the joys of January)and the big one- new year resolutions.

I have never been a big fan of the whole new year resolution stuff. I have always believed, still do actually, that any day can be a new day. Every day is the best day to start afresh, be it the 0-1 of the 0-1 or the 3-1 of the 1-0. But in keeping up with trends, I went ahead to still make new year resolutions. That is, until a couple of years ago when I just completely gave up. I told myself, 'Success, listen up girl, no more of this "new year, new me" mantra for you'. No, I didn't find a better way. 

I just became jaded. First, none of my resolutions in retrospect appeared grandiose enough for the drama I associated with making them (I remember vividly in 2013 resolving to always eat breakfast, I know, I know, you are probably wondering who does that?). Consequently, I do not give them the required commitment, which results in me barely keeping my resolutions beyond the first 2 weeks of the New Year, except of course for the resolution to stop making resolutions. (I kept true for a complete 2 years, may be because it is a once in a year kind of thing). BTW, that breakfast resolution was broken on that same New Year day. Not only did I not get breakfast or lunch, dinner was an apology.

So as I sit in Apongbon heading straight from work to church (I will be crossing over to 2016 without even freshening up), my mind turns to meditating as it often does. God has earlier given me My Word for the new year (2016) and here was I asking Him for clarification. Truth be told, I feel a bit unprepared for 2016. It seems to me there is a little important aspect missing. 

Then I start "hearing in my spirit". 

Everybody likes new things, including God.

Inspite of his pet name Ancient of days, the Arugbo-ojo, extends this wonderful invite: “remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold I am doing, a new thing. Now it springs forth do you not see it?”  Isaiah 43:19.

Come to think of it, the bible starts with the story of God doing a new thing. Creating a whole new world of galaxies and fishes and plants and animals and man, and of course, woman and it ends with God’s plans to make a new heaven and a new earth.

Established, God is in this new thing. "What about my unpreparedness?" I muse. Then Isaiah 65 pops into my head. (I recommend you read the entire chapter). Just like that, I see it clearly, God intends new things. He is interested in them. He originates them. He plans them. He orchestrates them. Above all, He wants us to step into and enjoy them.

 Col 3: 9 talks about us doing away with our “old self with its practices” while Eph 4:24  admonishes us to ”put on our new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness”

Dear friend, we would explore this in full later next year, which is just about 3 hours, 8 minutes away.  For now, we have to focus and sharpen our expectation for the cross-over service. Yea, I made it to an alternate cross-over service venue with 10 minutes to spare. Thankful for the minimal vehicular traffic on Eko bridge, talk about Divine Orchestration of new things.

Suddenly I am fully expectant, rearing to go and much more thankful for yet another new package. Join me, let's step into this New Year with all of us- spirit, soul and body. 2016 has my name on it, I betchya it's same for you.

OK. Enough said. I gotta post this now. Service starts in 60 seconds.


See you in your multiplied state in about 3 hours.

Welcome to 2016...and don't forget to share your resolutions.


God bless you.

Masturbation : Much Ado about Nothing?

I got the inspiration for this post a while back. I had, however, hesistated to publish it because of it's controversial nature. Also, I didn't really want it to be all about me and what could have very likely been my narrow minded opinion (at the time). I was full of righteous indignation, boiling to pour, as it were. I could not fathom how anybody in their right mind could even question the inappropriateness (to put it mildly) of masturbation.

Like that was not enough, I was window shopping online (a fast becoming very enjoyable hobby) when I decided to check out one of the popular online malls in Nigeria. To my dismay, under a very innocuous category was this great variety of sex toys. I had to click "back", and start all over so I could select the right category. Same thing. The mistake wasn't from me. No, it was not a mistake at all. That was the range/class of products under that category. I had to abruptly pause my "shopping" mid-aisle. Thankfully, there were no carts to bump into me.

After that, I was ready to go. I wanted to write the management of the mall about ensuring products are categorized correctly. I wanted to condemn and announce my own 2 cents worth of observation. No scriptural backing at all, I just wanted to air my views.

All thanks to God who makes all things beautiful in it's time and made me wait. That is, until another unrelated but similar incidence pushed it to the fore and I felt the leading that the time is right to share. I sincerely pray it answers someone's questions and sets at least one person on the right track in a committed walk with God.

The issue is masturbation.
Yes. There, I just said it.
Masturbation.

OK. A quick rewind to sometime in March this year. I overheard a group of teenage girls discussing sex and the whole baby mama syndrome. A particular young girl, who appeared older than the rest went on about how she wasn't "gonna let any dumb dude mess up her life for few seconds of sex". (Her exact words). That caught my attention and I sharpened my eavesdropping ears to hear better. (No blame me o). A majority of them concurred and was I glad. Way to go girls! I mentally applauded. I was thrilled at hearing such young girls so sure of what they wanted. Unfortunately, they switched to yoruba and I lost the thread of the conversation. That is, until I heard the statement, " if I no fit hol body, I go dey do am myself".
Huh???!
I couldn't pretend disinterest any more. I had to turn to stare, in disbelief as these young ladies (the average age could not have been than 16 years) vigorously argued for and against masturbation in contrast with premarital sex. A not-too-quiet clearing of my throat made them aware they had a third party audience and they quietened down as they gathered there purchases to leave. But not before the spokeslady threw me what she must have intended to be a rhetorical question, "e no beta say I do masef?" See me, I go answer. "Of course not". But she wasn't done. "So e beta make I go carry belle abi?". "Of course not", I replied again. "So what are you saying?" she sweetly asked. "Auntie, ma bi nu o..." She added, followed by a string of Yoruba that I didn't understand. My brain was too slow to respond before the ladies sauntered off with giggles at effectively shutting me, miss nosy amebo, up.

Barely two weeks ago, I was in an informal setting somewhere and the issue of abstinence and virginity came up. It was a motley collection age wise as we were between 14 and 35 years. I adressed my self to the young ones mostly about the safety and sensibleness of putting the ring/altar before the bed.

Afterwards, a young girl of about 15 called me aside. She said she was too shy to ask her question initially as one of the ladies there was her mummy's friend and she feared the backlash should her mum hear of her question from her friend. She wanted to know if masturbation was wrong. "Chim ooo". I thought. How do I address this? Technically, she was still a virgin as she was yet to have any sexual relations with either a man or a woman. However, she has been masturbating since she was eleven. She is from a very religious home, a model child, fully involved in church activities.

I muttered a prayer for help, while I asked her to tell me anything and everything as much as she wanted to share. I could sense she needed to talk about it. On my part, I needed to buy time. What do I say? I kept wondering why she chose me. Which kinda set up is this? Out of all the older and more mature christian women in that gathering. As I listened to her, I could see a young heart yearning to serve God, but struggling with this one habit ( which rather unfortunately had also led her to soft porn). I could tangibily feel her confusion, her guilt and her shame.

For want of something better to say, (that was of course the Holy Spirit at work as it gave me an opening) I asked, "so why do you do it?" Suddenly the events of that evening in March came rushing back at her response. "It is not mentioned in the Bible as a sin. Besides, it is better, I can not impregnate myself".

I wondered how many people out there had this perception of masturbation. Since it isn't explicitly mentioned in scriptures as a sin, then it is OK, or at least permissible.

Then I heard this Scripture as if someone spoke it. "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves...Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away" (1Timothy 3:1-2, 5 - emphasis mine). In confusion I turned and blurted out aloud, "wait a minute, I know that scripture". That same voice responded, "yes you do". It went on to ask, "What do you call someone you have sexual relations with? "Lover" I responded. And it dawned on me, masturbation is one of the sins of the end times. It is there alongside covetousness, boasting, pride, blasphemy, disobedience to parents, and the likes. As a matter of fact, it leads the pack. It tops the list(1Tim 3:1-4). Then verse 5 of that scripture clearly states, "...from such turn away".

I explained, as best as I could, as I heard to the young lady in front of me, who I must mention was already staring at me like I was some weirdo. Not that I blame her, I mean I was spinning around and having this monologue.

Before I was done, an imagery flashed in my mind in such clear dimensions I still feel goosebumps thinking about it.
So, I asked my partner in discovery, what is your favourite fruit. " Apples" she promptly replied. Great, I love them too. I shared the imagery with her as a reminder for anytime she gets tempted to give in to premarital sex or masturbation.

Sex is like that apple you love. It is tasty and refreshing and nourishing. Premarital sex is like eating that apple before it is ripe. It doesn't stop it from being an apple. However, you can't get the full benefits of that apple. One the taste won't be that nice. The juice would hurt your teeth and your tongue. Ingestion of large amounts could lead to food poisoning with dangerous effects to your health.

Masturbation, on the other hand, is like you saying, since I can't eat the unripe apple yet, let me eat the apples of my own eyes. They are apples too and I won't have the dangerous effects of eating the unripe apple (premarital sex). At this she shuddered and said "God forbid. Why would someone eat their own flesh? Or their eyeballs? They would soon be blind". Exactly. They would continue, taking a little bit of eyeball per time and seeing less and less each day. In the end, they would either decide to finally eat the unripe apple to preserve their sight or they get completely blind such that even when the apple ripens (they get married), they would not be able to appreciate its taste anymore. Their taste buds have been damaged.

To put it succinctly, masturbation is worse than cannibalism. It is consuming you. If you will not eat your own flesh, then you should not engage in masturbation.

To answer the young lady who asked me "e no beta say I do masef?". I answer No. No. No. And a big no. On the surface, masturbation might seem the better option, especially with the risks of Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), unwanted pregnancy, and all linked with premarital sex. But, really, what's the point? As my mum would say, the meat you consider taboo and would not eat, do not share it with your teeth. That is tantamount to eating it. God in his omniscience already knew excuses like these would come up. So He made provisioning for it and gave us fair warning twice "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death"(Prove 14:12, 16:25). Masturbation and premarital sex are twin sides of the same coin. I remember the one naira coins of those days. One side has Herbert Macaulay's face, the other had the Nigerian coat of arms. No one side was coin-ier than the other (I'm sure there is no word like that, but you get the picture, lol). Enough said.

I was priviledged to lead this second young lady her as she dedicated her life to Christ and made a committment to take the Vow of Purity till marriage, with her mum as an earthly witness. I am so glad she asked me that question. It made me learn.

To you, dearest, who may be struggling with pornography, masturbation, any other form of sexual immorality (or even any other habit that doesn't glorify God), I know the battle is not an easy one, especially in the highly sexualized world we live now.

But there is good news.

First and foremost, God loves you just the way you are. You are His most treasured asset. You are why the Father gave the Son. (John 3:16). You are why the Son chose to die. (John 15:13) Just like the father of the prodigal son, God is looking into the horizon and hoping you would make an about face back to Him.(Luke 15:11-32). Christ stands at the door of your heart knocking (Rev 3:20)

Second, you are not alone in the temptation. The temptation is very real.  "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it". (1Corinthians 10:13).

Again, though it is true you are not alone, never believe the line that everybody is doing it. That is a lie from the very depths of hell. Even if every other person is, since Jesus isn't, you shouldn't. Others may, you cannot.

People have successfully overcome, you can also.

Third, Christ is with us and grace is available. "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin... [16] Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need"(Hebrews 4:15-16).

I cannot claim to be an expert on "how to overcome masturbation". But I will share the time tested tips I use when I err/am challenged about any issue.

I ask for forgiveness and make a commitment not to repeat the mistake. (1 John 1:9)

I ask God to take over, because sincerely, I can't do it on my own, no man can. Much as the spirit is willing, the flesh is most times weak and self-serving. ( John 1:12, I Sam 2:9).

And my personal fave, I give God thanks for hearing me and praise Him for my victory. God inhabits the praises of his people and whenever he appears, Satan bows out. (John 1:5)

In addition-

Decide to stop. Go beyond promises and wishes, make a commitment, preferably, a written one. (Daniel 1:8).

Take personal responsibility to send satan packing. Resist the devil and he will flee. (James 4:9)

Accept the truth that sometimes, you need to do the fleeing. So, identify your triggers- friends, movies, music, places, books, habits, moods, etc-  and steer clear of them. Flee. Grow wings and fly away. (Gen 39:7-12, 1 Cor 6:18, 2 Tim 2:22)

Get gainfully and fruitfully engaged. An idle mind is the devil's workshop.

Pray and study God's Word. That is both your sword and your shield. (Ps 119:9, 11, Joshua 1:8, Rom 12:1-2).

Have an accountability partner/ coach. You can get connected to one through Praise Fowowe (@praisefowowe). I have heard him speak at different fora so I can recommend him/ his foundation.

Most importantly, should you have a relapse, do not stay there. Get up and start over.

God bless you richly.

I love you.

Sixteen, Not Sweet

I just turned sixteen.

And I will never know what it means to be a sweet sixteen.

 'Cause ten years already, I swim
In this vast ocean of bitterness.

Hatred burning deep inside of me.
Tearing my heart apart.

Ten years to the day, I just turned six.
And that which I already thought was mine to give
Was forcefully snatched away
By one so close I can barely believe.

I screamed.
I cried.
I called.
I fought.

No one heard.
No one came.
No one cared.
So of course, cruel savagery won.

I wasn't saved.

Now on your hallowed seats you call me loose.
Brazen and brash, a wanton nymph.
Noses turned up and eyes averted
You speak of me in terms unfit for even dogs.

I couldn't care less.
Over the years, I've learnt to depend on no one but me.

As time crawls by
My body blooms
Hope dies
My mind shrivels
The pain ripens
The agony deepens
Raw pain engraved on my soul in stark relief
I simply mark time.

My screams are down to whimpers.
My shouts nothing but whispers.
My tears dried out to trickles.
Only one thing I nurture.

The bitterness within.
The quest for revenge.
The thirst for vengeance.

Today I turn sixteen.

This same body you abused, is coming back for you.
The embers will never smoulder.
They will glow.

First, like a beacon of hope
To draw you in.
Then it will shine like a lighthouse
Calling you home.

Definitely it will burn.
Like the very fires of hell.

It's flames will lick your sinner's soul.
It's heat will scorch your miserable manhood.

This fire will burn.
Till you are charred to ashes.

And feel a bit of my ten-year hell.

Only then will I rest.

Today I turn sixteen.
And I will never be sweet.
So you better watch out.
'Cause I am coming for you.

FRIENDSHIP WITH GOD

A friend can be defined as that person whom you like and choose to spend time with.

Only in two biblical instances did Divinity refer to humanity specifically as 'Friends'. In other instances, we had to infer as words which could be interpreted as that were used. A cursory glance shows nothing similar between the two groups thus honoured. One is in the Old Testament, the other in the New. God the Father took the lead, God the Son followed suit; both pronouncements were of course made under the leadership and inspiration of The Holy Spirit.

According to the Scriptures, Abraham was the first human ever to attain this lofty position. Before him, notable righteous men lived. "...and God had respect for Abel and his offering..."(Gen 4:4); "Enoch walked with God..." (Gen 5:24); "...Noah found favour in the eyes of the Lord...a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked with God" (Gen 6:8-9).

However, when it got to Abraham, none of the other words could describe the beauty of what God and Abraham shared. Heaven just had to come up with a new word. Their relationship had a new dimension and as such, required a fresh definition.

"Friendship" became the operative word. Note that this was after Abraham had spent 24 whole years walking with God. 24 years of being the hottest news item and cover story of every gossip columnist and hard-up tabloid (his story would sell the paper) as the rich old fool who must have lost his marbles. If not, how does one explain a 75-year-old man waking up one morning, leaving all he had and embarking on a journey to an unknown and undefined destination, all on the command of a God no one had ever heard about nor seen. That sure was the height of absurdity. Twenty-four whole years of being the laughing stock of neighbours, friends and enemies- imagine taking out a classified ad for change of name, not just for himself from "assumed father" to "father of many" (at least he already had Ishmael as a consolation), but also for his wife who had never had the privilege of even a miscarriage as "Mother of nations". The entire process of circumcision is a story for another day.

One would have thought that all these acts of dogged devotion to God regardless of what men thought (if that is not enemity with the world- which equals friendship with God James 4:5- I don't know what is) should have qualified Abraham for  friendship. But it was not so. Good as they were, much as God noticed and recognised and even applauded them, there was still a critical factor He needed to see before pronuncing Abraham "friend".

While you ponder and wonder, fast forward to the New Testament. On your way, take a glance at Joseph, Moses, Aaron, Joshua and Caleb. Deborah, Esther and Hannah. Remember to look over the lives of Samuel, David, Elijah, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Do not forget to recall Isaiah, Jeremiah, Joel and Hosea. The list is inexhaustive. Valiant men and virtuous women. In there is "the meekest man that ever lived" and "the man after God's own heart". These men not only called down fire, they entered the fiery furnace in the name of God. Prophets who heard God with their physical ears. Men who stood firm in faithfulness despite all odds. They all had impressive resumes. Yet, none was qualified enough for God to call them "Friend".

The New Testament beckons.

In the book of John 15:15-16, Christ, like the true Son of His Father, took three and a half years of leading, living with and teaching men older than him (in the flesh) before He could consider and call them "friends". The years could seem nothing compared to Abraham's, but then, life expectancy had depreciated appreciably between Abraham's time and the time of Christ. Remember also that these were men with families and occupations (some very lucrative, think of a medical practice, working with the FIRS), and numerous responsibilities who had abandoned all for three years running just to follow a King whose only throne was probably whatever he could craft out in his father's workshop, in a stereotypically unproductive and unknown village called Nazareth. Nonetheless, Christ was just following the standards of God that cannot be broken.

Abraham and the disciples, aside from their resilient resolutions to disregard ridicule were about as similar as chalk and cheese. What then prompted Divinity to call them "Friends"?

In Genesis 18:17-19 God said "...shall I hide from Abraham (MY FRIEND) what I'm about to do... For I know Him, that he will surely command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord... SO THAT THE LORD WILL BRING ABOUT FOR ABRAHAM WHAT HE HAS PROMISED HIM".

Jesus on His own part in John 15:15-16 says "I no longer call you servants... Instead, I call you FRIENDS, for everything that I learned from my Father, I have made known to you... I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last. THEN, THE FATHER WILL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU ASK IN MY NAME". (emphasis, mine).

The determining factor, the meeting point, the standard of qualification, the prerequisite criterion, the basis of consideration as it were is simple- FATHERHOOD.

God testified, about nine months before the birth of Isaac, that Abraham would not just suggest to him, but COMMAND him, alongside every other person in his household to keep the way of the Lord, to do what is right and just.

Christ testified about His disciples, before the first soul was ever preached to in the new covenant of His death and resurrection, 'I know you would bear fruit' (that is a given), 'and that you would "Father" them to remain'.

Having children is actually not the issue, that is a foregone conclusion in the sight of God. Any pubescient young man can impregnate a female, and have a child. Any true christian can preach the Word and the Holy Spirit would convict and bring souls into the Kingdom.

The issue is in fatherhood.

God places premium value on not just good enough, but excellent fatherhood. Beautifully enough, He recognises the challenges of fatherhood. He identifies with the pains of a wayward son and the joys of having children right on track. He fully understands the sacrifice and torn emotions. He fathers the most jumbled and unruly and stubborn and deviant and depraved set of children. Yet He does it all excellently.

He shows us the perfect example in our relationship with Him. Check out His names, especially in the New Covenant. Heavenly Father, Abba Father, Father of all Grace, Father of Light, Father of Our Lord Jesus Christ. He can't be anything but Father. He parents us spiritually, physically, mentally, financially (He teacheth us to profit) and in all areas of life.

To win God's friendship, all we need be is be fathers. We ought to be fathers. One might ask, but I'm not yet married. Or, I don't have kids of my own, yet. Here, mentorship, follow-up or whatever name you choose comes in. There are a lot of people out there, young and not so young, all yearning for a father's love, the kind of approval only a dad can give, the corrections and counsel that characterize the interest of a father in his offspring. This is not just in the physical aspect, it applies also in the spiritual.

With our words and actions, precepts and concepts, principles and practise, we ought to be fathers.

Just like any other meaningful endeavour, excellent fatherhood demands copious amounts of our resources- time, energy, money, emotions and courage. Disappointments are sure. It is a challenging task. It requires sacrifice.

Ironically, it is also the second most thankless job in history (yeah, I think it comes right after motherhood. My personal opinion, anyway). You know, no one really notices when you are a good father, but as soon as you miss a step, the jury would be out. I've heard criticisms against David because of Amnon, Tamar, Absalom, and Adonijah. I've even heard Father Abraham under fire because of Ishmael. But I've never heard any one give any of them kudos for the wonderful way Solomon and Isaac turned out respectively.

The camp could be divided on David's fatherhood abilities. Perhaps, he was too busy dodging Saul and fighting wars to give it his all. Despite his conquests and antecedents, the result of what could have been bad fatherhood choices almost marred his reign, but for God's intervention.

Nevertheless, God is not like man. He fully understands what fatherhood entails. So, whenever He sees excellent fatherhood, He doesn't stop at saying "thanks", He rewards. There is a bonus for fatherhood, I mean minus Divine friendship. The tail part of Gen 18:19 and John 15:16 adds the icing to the cake. Both record blessings and privileges that would accrue to true fathers. In fatherhood is the assurance that ALL His promises to us would be fulfilled. In fatherhood is the Word that WHATEVER we ask The Father will be done.

I'm female, but I just signed up for Divine Friendship through Fatherhood. What about you? Wouldn't you rather be God's friend?



November 19

Dear November 19,

How do you do?

I have tried to forget you since March 8, when we celebrated the womenfolk. But somehow, you have stubbornly stuck in my subconscious.

I am a little bit double minded about how to approach you. Should I be formal? Or should I make myself familiar? Especially, since this peice is not just about you. It is also about those men who grace the world. 

Males who continously stand for truth, justice and love.

Males who are courageous enough to uphold their beliefs even when the

rest of the world seem to be going crazy.

My utmost respect goes to my biological father. Who I also have the rare privilege of having as my first spiritual father- Rev. Christopher O. Anoke. The husband of one wife, a believer in the One true living God. A shepherd indeed, a father to many.

Humble and caring, with a huge sense of humor. "I love you, Daddy".

Men of God, shaping lives and moulding destinies. Many I have met physically, many more, I haven't. However, their voices have helped direct my choices. Bishops T. D. Jakes, Paul Nwachukwu, Papa David Oyedepo, Big Daddy Mike Okonkwo, Pa Adeboye, Pst. Chris. Oyakhilohme, Bill Hybels, Myles Munroe (R.I.P., Sir), Pst. Sam Adeyemi, Pst. Paul Adefarasin, Fela Durotoye, Pst. Femi Adejumo, PK, Pst. Kunle Soriyan- "thank you", for helping me and leading me on the path to unravel the mysteries in God's word. Thank you for making me realise the bliss in Christianity. Thank you for explaining the place of purpose and the purpose of each place as I journey through life.

My pastor, Rev Ayodeji Kolade Cole, of blessed memory. Though you are gone, I know you are looking down from that higher realm. I promise to make you proud. Always.

Pastor Chris E. Ebadan- my daddy's name sake- you are an inspiration.

Rev. Ejike Monwuba- my father's son who is also my father thus making my father to also be my grandfather. Don't worry, I can't figure it out either.

Max Lucado, as far as I am concerned, you are in a distinct class of your own. May God continually smile on you.

To the two Franklins in my life (at least from a distance *winks*) Kirk and Edwards. I sincerely celebrate the grace of God upon your lives. Sonnie Badu and Nathaniel Bassey, I should also be allowed to say "I love you". (Smiles)

My brothers, Mike and Agoziem, one-of-a-kind intelligent gentlemen. You guys are wonderful. My brother from another mother- Billy JC. Double Twale for you Bro, your swagg's tight and you are truly the best. My brother-in-law, "Uncle" Sam. I respect you, Sir.

All the men in Glory homecell of TREM Vision House, Abuja, especially Stanley N, Weje.

To all those males who have been my friends, especially- Baba Ameco (for challenging my mind); Manuel (no regrets knowing You); Belema (we had our issues, but I'm sure we both came out better. Thanks for expanding my world); Dickson- my only POP *winks*. Nyero, a special friend indeed. 

Alex "TyvFunny", Chibuikem, Olusola, Kehinde "K'Bams", Martial, Azubuike "Zuby", my favourite celebs, Ayobami and Henry, "manager" VOK, Dimeji "Pilot1", words fail me. From the bottom of my heart, I appreciate you guys.

All my male neighbours, classmates, course mates and colleagues through the years, my current boss, Mr Bolaji  and the "Team Leadership of life" Mr Awosika, "ese gaaan" for making 'Success' a better female.

Gentlemen of Team Kaizen. A million thanks to all of you for the beauty of the past two years and for the continued partnership of the countless years ahead.

My Dear Special One, it is a joy knowing we would be a team. A present day two-third of that three-cord-rope that can never be broken.

Thank you:

For being the perfect gentleman. 

For respecting my body and recognising my intellect.

For guarding my trust and honouring my pride.

For building me spiritually and for praying for me.

For helping us find a middle ground even when I respond with 'emotional Greek' to your rational English.

For being not just a friend but also a priest.

For not being too manly to cry, sharing my tears on gloomy days and making me see the brighter side.

For halving my pains and doubling my joys.

To boys, teens and men, the world over, being sons, grandsons, nephews, fiancés, husbands, fathers, grandfathers, fathers-in-law and friends. I greet you all this special day. I pray for you too. That you will have

the courage to be real men. 

Men who will command respect just by being, and not having to demand it by bullying. 

Men who will protect their partners (in heart and pocket matters) and place a premium on trust.

Men who would take decisions from above and not from below.

Men whose words would be as good as the husky baritone in which they are uttered and worth more than any papers they may be written on.

Men of wisdom, men of insight.

Men who would not hesistate to say the truth at all seasons.

Men who would not sell their birthrights for a mess of pottage.

Men who would be willing to rise from the ashes of whatever mistakes may have burnt up their pasts and fan with amend the embers of cold passion into a blazing light of purpose.

Men who would face their demons squarely and by so doing give their children hope for a brighter future.

Men who are optimistic enough to look into tomorrow, yet are realistic enough to learn from yesterday.

Men who belive in God.

Men who believe in themselves.

Men who believe in life.

Men who are men indeed.

PS: This was originally written on 19-11-2012 and was published as a note on facebook. However, this version has been edited.

You may also wish to visit https://m.facebook.com/notes/success-anoke/november-19/4567629042112/?refid=21 for the original article.
Thank you.